Lost and Found
by Bella Taggart
Summary: When Bo comes across a drunken Lauren in a bar, everything she thought she knew about the doctor comes into question.
1. Chapter 1

Title: Lost and Found

Author: Bella Taggart

Rating: Pg13 for now

Fandom/Pairing: Lost Girl, Bo/Lauren

Spoilers: Up to S01E11

Word Count: 3912 for this part.

Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

Summary: When Bo comes across a drunken Lauren in a bar, everything she thought she knew about the doctor comes into question.

Author's Note: Many thanks to Rayne for the great Beta work.

Lost and Found

By Bella Taggart

Part 1/?

Bo had come into Sammy's, an out of the way little bar known for its mixed clientele, hoping to find information on a missing half-blooded fae woman. What she hadn't expected to find was Lauren, but there she was sitting alone at the bar. An almost empty bottle of whiskey lay in front of her, a glass settled in her hand, and her head was bent, her mind seemingly miles away. Unaware of being observed, she looked different…tired.

Bo approached the bar as stealthily as she could and took a seat a few stools down from her. Hiding behind a tall man between them, Bo took the opportunity to really look at the woman.

It had been two weeks since she'd last seen her at the police station though judging by the difference in Lauren's appearance it could have been much longer. Bo had never known a person to age in such a short time. Her clothes were hanging a little too loosely off her form and there were dark circles under her eyes. She looked like she hadn't slept in a week.

Bo briefly wondered what was keeping her up at night and then decided that she wasn't going to think about that. She was here to do a job, not steal glances at an obviously disheveled and yet still attractive-as-could-be doctor.

She sat up straighter on her seat, just as the man between them took his leave. Lauren's attention caught onto her in seconds. First her eyes widened in reflex and then quite unexpectedly she burst out laughing.

"Of course you'd be here today," She mumbled, shaking her head, more to herself than to Bo. "Of all places."

Bo, not knowing what to make of that reaction, just found herself getting peeved about missing the joke. "Was I supposed to be somewhere else?"

"No." Lauren shook her head, trying to reign in her laughter, though the alcohol in her system wasn't making it easy.

"What's so funny?" Bo asked.

"Nothing." She held up a hand in apology.

They sat in silence for a while, both of them looking at everything but each other. Then the rattling of metal hitting metal had Bo turning back to Lauren. She was clutching something and hitting it onto the surface of the bar, keeping up with the rhythm of the song that was playing. Bo felt the hair in the back of her neck stand as she realized that it was the Ash's necklace Lauren was playing with.

"Do you mind? I'm getting a headache."

Lauren stopped her hand in mid motion and put the necklace down.

Bo looked away. She hated that damned thing. What was it they said; _Guns don't kill people, people kill people?_ Well the necklace might as well have been a gun as far as Bo was concerned. Her rational mind knew that the amulet itself held no power. Still that knowledge didn't make her want to break the thing in half any less. If only there had been no necklace, no hidden agenda, and no betrayal. Things could have been so much different.

"I'm sorry." Lauren said.

"Yes, yes I know." Bo sighed exasperatedly, thinking they were back to that.

"What? No," Lauren chuckled, "For the noise," She clarified. "No, I wasn't apologizing for that. I…." she hiccupped and brought a hand to her chest "Excuse me. I've...I've decided to stop apologizing for that, so you don't have to worry."

"Good."

Lauren had stopped calling. Bo had noticed that. Her last message had been 17 days ago. _Bo, it's me again...I don't know what to say anymore… I need to talk to you, please just call me...Please._

Bo hadn't called her back.

"Good," Lauren repeated. "Great. I mean, I might be slow but even I'm not that slow..." Her words were slurring, "I got the message, loud and clear, right about the time I said sorry for the 5th...or was it the 7th?" she looked like she was trying to calculate it in her mind, and then gave up with a wave of her hand. "Doesn't matter. Somewhere along there I finally understood that...you didn't wanna hear it. So…no more. In fact, I'm not even gonna say the word "sorry" anymore. Period. Throwing the word out of my dictionary…vocabulary! Vocabulary."

Lauren was more than a little tipsy. By the looks of it she was completely drunk off her mind. Bo had never seen her like this, let alone heard her babble, ever. In spite of herself, she worried about what had caused the normally collected doctor to lose herself like this.

"Right," Bo said, annoyed to still be caring about Lauren one way or another. "Isn't it a little early to be drinking?"

"Oh, I'm sorry, is there a rule somewhere..." She stopped herself and cracked up again, "I did it again! I didn't mean to... really... I'm," She smacked her palm over her mouth, and her whole body shook in an effort to contain the laughter.

Bo wasn't laughing, however. "Don't you have to be at work? It's four in the afternoon."

"Is it four already?" Lauren lifted her arm up and brought her watch to an inch from her nose. "It is indeed. Well, you know, all work and no play makes Lauren a...what was it?"

"Just how drunk are you?"

"I'm not drunk!" She protested in reflex, trying to sit up quickly. When she found herself swaying on her seat, she held onto the bar and amended her statement. "Well, maybe a little."

"Wonderful."

Lauren pulled an arm under her head and closed her eyes, just to rest them for a moment. She was jerked awake by Bo's too loud calling of her name, "Lauren!"

"What?" She straightened up, opening her eyes wide and trying to get her bearings. Bo was sitting right next to her.

"Do you need me to call someone?"

"Aww, you're sweet." Lauren replied, rubbing her face. "But I'm fine on my own...sweet, sweet Bo..."She trailed off, concentrating on her watch again.

Bo didn't know what to make of her. She wanted to just shake the woman. Instead she shook her head.

"You don't have to feel bad, you know." Lauren announced with sudden clarity.

"What?"

"About us." She waved her hand between them to make her point. "I knew, from the moment we started whatever it was...that was between us, that it wasn't going to last long."

Bo's head snapped back to her. "What does that mean?"

Lauren hummed into her drink, getting lost again.

"Lauren," Bo prompted.

"What?"

"What does that mean?"

Lauren shook her head. "Nothing."

"Not nothing. What did you mean by that?"

Lauren held her glass to her brow, instead of speaking. The ice felt refreshing against her skin.

Bo didn't like not getting answers to her questions. "Did your little master say that our affair was supposed to be short-lived?"

Lauren looked up suddenly, unable to believe that Bo had just asked her that. Though why, she didn't know. Bo obviously had no understanding about anything when it came to Lauren.

"Yeah," she said, playing with the necklace back in her hand. "That's it."

Bo didn't want Lauren agreeing with her when she obviously didn't. It was patronizing.

"Then why?" She asked with a little more force than necessary.

Lauren sighed audibly, resting her head on her bottle. "What does it matter now?"

"It doesn't."

Lauren closed her eyes, trying to lessen the spinning of her world. When it made no difference she opened them again. "It was too..." good to be true was what she was going to say but when she met Bo's angry glare she found herself swallowing the rest of her words. Instead, she said, "If you knew anything about my life, my past you wouldn't be asking me why. But...it's not _my_ past you're interested in." She trailed off with a bitter smirk on her lips and a glazed look in her eyes.

Bo couldn't help wondering if Lauren was talking about her search into her own past or her recent interest in Dyson's. Either way, it was none of Lauren's business. That didn't take away from the sting she felt at hearing the hurt in the other woman's voice however.

"Whatever." She sat back on her stool and looked around in the bar.

Lauren nodded, as though that was the reply she had been expecting all along, and went back to her drink.

Bo was irritated…frustrated. Despite her resolve not to engage, she found herself doing exactly that. But it was so easy to fall into whatever hole Lauren had dug for herself. It was so easy to fall into Lauren.

She hated it, her weakness in the face of this woman.

She didn't understand her. She certainly didn't know a thing about her. Lauren was right about that, because if she had she would have expected her trust to be broken by her. Whatever had driven Lauren to be a slave - God, she hated the word - had to be more important than whatever bond they may have shared.

What had Lauren said? Right, she was in it for the science. Spectacular.

Bo motioned the burly looking bartender over. He was a beast of a man, tall and wide, with a long beard hiding most of his face. Bo wouldn't have been surprised if he was something other than human. Not anymore, when in every corner she turned there seemed to be a new fae popping in her way.

"Yeah?" He asked, in a tone far from friendly.

"Hey," She smiled, turning the charm on. "There was a fight here the other day, over this woman". She took out a photo and showed it to him. "Remember her?"

He didn't even take a proper look before he grunted, "No."

Bo took hold of his arm, her fingers radiating her power and asked again, "You sure?"

Then the strangest thing happened, he looked at her with just as much hostility as before and in a bored tone said, "Cute. Now you wanna let go of my arm, so I can get back to work?"

Bo let go, more out of shock than anything else. Her power hadn't worked. He walked away as unaffected as anything, leaving a confused succubus behind. Just as she was about to try again, she heard Lauren take a breath to speak.

"That won't work on him. He's a Mordar Giant; he's immune to your power."

Bo rolled her eyes.

Lauren faced her with an amused expression on her face, "Your seduction trick over there probably felt like you were tickling him more than turning him on. And let's be honest, tickling is more annoying than pleasurable."

"Great."

A commotion by the door broke their eye contact. Two men were pushing into each other like ostriches, looking for a fight, while a crowd formed around them.

"You should leave". Lauren suggested, "You don't wanna get mixed up in that, being a side-less fae and all."

"I'm fine here, thanks."

"I'm just saying, you usually end up right in the middle of trouble, even if the trouble has nothing to do with you."

"You're very talkative all of a sudden."

"Am I? Yeah, drinking does that to me, which is why I guess I usually don't drink. I must say I'm finding it quite liberating, although I could do without the dry mouth." She said, smacking her lips.

Bo found herself grinning in spite of everything, which, she was beginning to discover, was a part of Lauren's charm,. One minute she was making her smile, and the next she was pushing on her buttons hard enough to hurt.

"I'm wondering something." Lauren said suddenly.

"Oh, yeah?"

"Since we're having a conversation."

"Aha."

"No, seriously." She looked into her eyes somberly, "When are you going to pick a side?"

And here came the pushing.

"I mean, how long do you think you'll be able to remain neutral? How long before you get hurt, irreversibly?

Bo gave a warning look, but Lauren continued anyway, "If you gave the Ash the chance, he could protect you."

"I don't want his protection."

"Then pick the Morrigan."

Bo's eyes widened in shock, "You want me to choose the dark fae?"

"I don't care as long as you choose someone."

"Well, sorry to disappoint but that's not gonna happen."

"I worry about you."

"I'm a big girl Lauren. I can take care of myself."

"Dyson's body won't always be enough to heal you."

"I'll get by."

"Damn it Bo, I might not always be around to help."

"I never asked you to be. I don't need you Lauren."

The flash of pain that sliced through Lauren's face at her words had Bo regretting them instantly. But it was too late, they were out already. They weren't true, but they were out.

Lauren looked down, hiding behind the hair that fell across her face with the move of her head and nodded. She took a moment, and then, trying very much to sound unaffected she said. "Right, of course."

Putting her drink on the bar, she slipped off her seat and stood up. "It's getting late."

Bo watched as Lauren steadied herself. With a lift of her hand, Lauren motioned the bartender over and pushing the bottle his way said, "Pour the last one for the pretty lady Sam."

The bartender who had barely spared a glance at Bo actually smiled at Lauren, his face transforming into a much younger version of itself, looking more like an overgrown child than anything else. "Sure thing Doc." He said, putting an empty glass in front of Bo. "Ice?"

Bo nodded, wordlessly.

When Lauren reached into her pocket and took out some bills, the bartender started arguing.

"What're you doing? You know your money is no good here."

Bo watched as Lauren smiled her first sincere smile of the day, and put the cash on the bar. "Take it." She said, "Get Emily a toy for me."

The bartender looked at her for a long moment, some kind of understanding must have passed between them for in the next moment he was nodding.

She tilted her head towards Bo, "I think she has some questions she wants to ask you. Be nice, for me?"

The bartender nodded. "Anything for you, Doc."

"Take care of yourself Sam."

"Doc?"

Lauren looked up at his soft, caring eyes.

He leaned closer, and took her small hand in his large one. "I know it's not my place to ask but, are you sure you want to go through with this today? You don't look strong enough."

Bo's attention zeroed in on the conversation, as more questions started running through her mind. Go through with what? What did strength have to do with anything? Who was this man that was holding Lauren's hand? Where exactly was Lauren going?

Lauren squeezed his hand in a reassuring manner, and in a voice more confidant than she felt, said, "I appreciate your concern Samuel, I do. But let me assure you, there is no need for it. It's just like any other time, I promise."

He held onto her for another moment, then the cloud over his face parted lightly, and he let go.

Lauren watched while he moved onto another customer, and wondered just when exactly she had learned to lie so well.

She could feel herself sober up by the minute. For a moment she contemplated ordering another round, then thought better of it and turned away from the bar.

Bo was looking right at her. Though she didn't actually ask anything, Lauren could read her face well enough to know that she expected answers.

Lauren thought on the matter: about their failed would-be relationship, about her obligations and what she owed or didn't owe Bo. She realized that she felt quite a bit indebted to the succubus. After all she had given something to Lauren that she had never thought she'd experience. It was over in the blink of an eye, but it was still longer and more beautiful than anything she could have imagined, or hoped for.

A taste of real, actual rushing, thundering life. The heartbeat, the glow, the pain - oh the pain - yes, but she wouldn't have changed a thing about it. For the first time in a very long time Lauren had felt alive thanks to Bo which made this all the more difficult somehow.

At least she remembered the feel, the touch, the taste of it. All things she could hold onto. And she had even allowed herself to dream about what it could have turned into had it had the time to grow.

Perhaps it was better that it hadn't. Lauren doubted that she'd be able to stand the intensity of it if it had.

Yes, she owed Bo a lot but she didn't owe her the truth of this matter. In fact Bo had made it abundantly clear that she wasn't interested in any kind of explanation concerning Lauren and the Ash. There was however one thing Lauren wanted to make clear.

"For the record, I'm not sorry for what happened between us Bo. That day, the Ash told me to distract you so that you wouldn't get killed. I'm not sorry that I did, or about how I did. I am only sorry that that was our first time." Lauren ran a hand through her tousled hair, and in a voice too low for anyone without special powers to hear, added, "And our last."

Lauren saw Bo tense up once again and looked away, not wanting to see the indifference that usually followed her apologies. Still she waited for a response.

Nothing came.

Though she knew she was foolish to hope otherwise, the silence still hurt her. She smiled to cover it up. "Anyway, I've gotta get going." She started rushing, suddenly wanting nothing more than to get away from Bo. At the last moment her eye caught onto her necklace lying on the bar top. She reached for it in one swift move, saying the first thing that came to her mind. "Oops, don't wanna forget my collar."

When Bo's eyes widened in horror, Lauren realized that she had hurt her with her words. They were quite the pair really; pushing and pulling on each other until there was no place to hide from the pain or the joy they caused one another.

It was done now. There was nothing more to do but to walk away.

Only Bo didn't let her. She grabbed Laurens arm, stopping her movement. "Lauren." She said, her voice low and deep.

Lauren's head hung low. Then she took a breath and looked back at Bo.

Bo didn't want to ask it, didn't want to show any kind of weakness or affection for the blonde after what she had done, but seeing her in this agitated state, in this completely out of character dismantled state, she couldn't help herself. "Are you okay?"

Lauren sighed, in a long and lasting way, as though she had been holding onto her breath for minutes. Her lips started curling up, "now she asks," she said in what could almost be a teasing manner. Than she looked into Bo's eyes, in silence and all traces of humor, fake or otherwise, and agitation disappeared from her face.

What was left scared Bo more than anything that had come before it. It looked like acceptance;for things that were, for things to be, Bo didn't know. All she knew was that she didn't like it. Lauren, the woman who could have been a warrior in another life, Lauren, the woman who had fought against everything – time, pressures from both sides of the fey, her reluctant patients whom for one reason or another refused her treatment, her guidance, for the attentions of a certain succubus, for her to choose a side and who knows what else - since the day she had met her, was wearing the face of someone who had given up.

Bo's senses were issuing red alerts, urging her to do something…anything to get the fight back into Lauren but she didn't know what that could possibly be when she had no idea what was causing this. Furthermore, what was this exactly?

Why had she walked into this bar of all bars in the city today? Before coming here and seeing Lauren like this, everything had been fine. She had known what was what and she had been content to live that way. Black was black and white was white and Lauren was a cold hearted, unfeeling bitch who had royally fucked her over.

Only, when she wasn't.

There had been moments that couldn't have been faked between them. Bo knew that, even when she didn't want to know that. Perhaps that was what hurt the most. Lauren had taken something real, beautiful, with a potential to be so very rare, and ripped it apart.

And here she was standing in front of her, vulnerable as could be. Obviously hurting and Bo wanted to make it better. Despite her own hurt, she wanted to fix whatever it was that had broken to make Lauren behave this way.

"What's goi..." she started asking only to be cut off by Lauren who took a step closer to her and said, in barely a whisper "I'm fine. I'm good now."

She was close enough for Bo to smell the alcohol in her breath, the perfume on her neck, the irresistibly alluring scent of her skin. For a moment she thought that Lauren was going to kiss her, her breath caught in her throat, her heartbeat tripled in anticipation, but all Lauren did was smile…tenderly this time. She looked into Bo's eyes, as her own filled with tears.

Something was happening between them but Bo couldn't make sense of it. Bo couldn't understand what Lauren was trying to say without using her words because what she did understand was that there was love in Lauren's eyes. And that couldn't be. She didn't want to see that, hear that, know that. And yet she didn't move away.

She let Lauren raise a finger to her face and so very gently tuck the single rebellious strand of hair behind her ear. The heartbreakingly slow touch woke every single succubus cell in Bo's body. Feeling the rise of her power within her, she took a breath to calm herself and closed her eyes.

Lauren, despite knowing that at any moment this privilege was going to be revoked, couldn't make herself rush as she let her fingers trace the edge of Bo's face one last time. She tried to stop the trembling of her fingers - from fear of disrupting this gift of a moment - as they made their way down to Bo's lips. They parted under her touch and Lauren heard herself gasp as she felt the warmth of Bo's breath.

She was going to take this with her. No matter what happened when she left this bar, she was going to hold on to this feeling of touching Bo one last time.

She leaned in as close as she dared and breathed into Bo's neck. "Good bye Bo."

When Bo opened her eyes, she knew two things. Her eyes were blue with her power and Lauren was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Many thanks to Rayne for the great Beta work.

A/N 2: Thank you so much to all those that took the time to comment. I have replied to the ones that have private messaging turned on in their ffnet account. As for the rest, please know that each and every one of your messages are read and deeply appreciated.

Lost and Found

Part 2/?

Bo took a moment to collect herself… to push her power back into the depths of her body and calm down. When control was back within her grasp, she started moving. Whatever may have happened between Lauren and herself, she knew as well as anything else in her life that she couldn't let Lauren go this way. There was something seriously wrong with her. What it was she had no clue, but she was going to find out.

She ran to the exit and rushed out onto the street. She looked up and down in search of a familiar face peeking through the crowd of everyday people on the sidewalk, and came up empty.

A taxi with a blonde passenger was pulling out of the curb. She ran after it and felt her brief relief turn into disappointment when the woman in the back turned sideways and Bo realized that she was not Lauren.

She was at the corner of a four way street. Too many ways to go, she thought sulkily.

Frustrated, she flipped open her phone and dialed Lauren's number. When, under the noise of an ambulance passing by, she heard her call go straight to voice-mail, Bo had to suppress the urge to crunch the phone in her hand. She knew she was panicking, had no substantial reason to panic, and yet every instinct in her body told her that she needed to find the doctor. And quickly.

Bo had learned a long time ago not to question her instincts. They had kept her alive this long.

She briefly considered calling Kenzi, or Dyson for that matter, then dismissed the idea. What was she going to say to them? _Come quick. I'm looking for Lauren, whom I saw just a few minutes ago but I can't seem to find her now and I've got a bad feeling about this?_

Ridiculous.

She ran back into the bar and grabbed the bartender's arm. "Where is she?"

"Look lady, the woman you're looking for does this all the time. She flirts with some guy in front of her boyfriend, then the boyfriend ends up in a fight and she disappears for a while. She'll turn up in a few days, take my word for it."

"Not _her_, Lauren." She clarified with urgency. "Where did she go?"

The bartender took a step back and eyed her warily. "That's none of your business."

"Look, she's a friend of mine, okay?"

"You didn't look like friends."

"Yeah, well, it's complicated. But if she's in trouble I want to help."

He picked up a glass and not meeting her eyes, started drying it with a cloth. "She isn't in trouble."

"You don't sound so sure."

"Well, I am." He said moving down the bar.

Bo followed him.

"Listen, something's going on. I have a feeling you know what it is. Now, you can tell me nicely or I can make things very difficult for you." She threatened.

He looked at her with humor in his eyes, "So much for the niceties."

Bo moved back and tried again, "Look, I don't mean to be a bitch,"

He gave her a doubting look. She insisted, "I really don't. But I'm worried about her. And I can see that you are too."

Bo, encouraged by his lack of denial, continued. "So just tell me, and I can help her."

"I can't tell you."

"Sure you can."

"No, I..." He put down the glass and, after looking around for possible eavesdroppers, leaned down onto his elbows, bringing himself closer to Bo's level. "I literally can't. I've been sworn to secrecy and, for a Mordar, that's physically binding. May be why people always tell me their secrets."

"I've worked in bars before. You might as well be a psychologist."

"Right," he nodded uncomfortably. "So, I can't tell you, but if you were to guess, then there'd be nothing I could do about that."

"Guess, right. I could do that."

He straightened up when a customer passed them by.

"We're not going to play charades are we?" She asked worriedly, "Because I suck at that."

He gave her a blank look, so she put up her hands in surrender, "All right, I'm listening."

"All I can tell you is that the doc shows up here every three months, at exactly the same time. She's been doing so for years now."

"She always gets this drunk?"

"No, never. She has one drink, two at the most. Then she leaves. That's part of the reason I'm telling you this."

"You aren't telling me anything, I'm guessing, remember."

"Right."

"So she shows up here at the same time, every three months." Bo repeated, "So she has a meeting of some kind. Here?"

He shook his head.

"Not here. Then somewhere close by, but where?"

He played with his beard, pulling on the red strands repeatedly. Looking thoughtful, he slowly said, "The woman you were looking for, she's a nurse you know?"

"The woman in the photograph?"

He nodded. "We have a certain type of customers here."

Bo looked around. The few tables were filled with regular men and women; some fae, some not. There were a few guys playing pool by the far end of the place. Nothing out of the ordinary. Then one of the guys moved into her line of sight, and it dawned on Bo. He was wearing scrubs, and so were his friends. The woman was a nurse and Lauren was a doctor.

She spun to the bartender, "The hospital across the street? That's what you couldn't tell me?"

He shrugged.

She rolled her eyes, and shook her head, "I could have been on my way in two seconds. All you had to do was point."

"I told you I can't tell you."

"Yeah, yeah."

She spun on her heels and rushed to the door, just as she was about to leave, she stopped, feeling his presence behind her.

"Succubus." The bartender called, walking up to her.

Bo narrowed her eyes, "What?"

"She has saved my life. My kid's life." He said softly. He seemed like he wanted to say more but didn't know how to without crossing some kind of hidden line.

"I understand." Bo said, reassuringly. Lauren was a friend to this man, he cared about her. Bo got that.

He nodded, "What she's got herself involved in, what she does over there...stronger fae than I wouldn't dare do."

"How do you know that? Did Lauren tell you that?"

"I wasn't always a bartender."

"Let me guess, a bodyguard?"

He didn't say anything, which was all the answer she needed.

"I'm going to go ahead and assume that the person you guarded had a very raspy voice."

He blinked.

She nodded, "Ok, well, thanks" She said, taking a step and added, "Giant."

And then she was out.

Bo had never been fond of hospitals. As a child she had feared them; one of her foster parents - the one she had liked - had gone into one, and hadn't come out. Death had been the first thing she associated with the place for the better part of her teenage years. As an adult, she still didn't like them. Despite the hotel-like decors they implemented, and the welcoming atmosphere they tried to create, Bo never felt completely secure in the environment. The smell of disinfectant overwhelmed her senses and she tried to spend as little time in them as possible.

This didn't stop her from going into one today, however.

Bo walked up to the friendly looking silver haired hostess by the information desk and put on one of her brightest smiles.

"Hi, I was looking for Dr. Lauren Lewis."

The woman smiled politely in return and typed into her computer. After a few clicks she looked up apologetically, "I'm sorry; I don't have a Dr. Lewis on file. Are you certain that you have the name right?"

"Yeah, L E W I S," she spelled out, "Lauren Lewis. She came in here like 5 minutes ago. Blonde, about this tall, she was wearing a brown leather jacket." Bo said, her eye catching onto a funny looking orderly whose attention was fixed right on her, obviously listening to their conversation. When Bo met his eyes, he quickly looked away. "We were together right across the street, but I forgot to tell her something regarding a patient of hers, and it's really urgent she gets this information soon."

The woman nodded, understandingly, and checked the computer again. "Nope," She shook her head, "I'm afraid, I'm not coming up with anything."

"Oh, that's too bad." Bo said, eyeing the orderly's movement. The man was quickly walking away.

"If she is visiting a patient and she hasn't checked in, it wouldn't be in the records." The lady said.

"Right, of course." Bo nodded, backing away, "I'll try her on her cell-phone. Thank you."

She moved to follow him from across the lobby, her steps quick enough to keep pace with him, and far enough not to spook him further. There weren't many directions he could go and, taking in the simple layout of the floor, Bo was pretty sure the route she was following would meet up with him sooner or later. Deciding to make it sooner she quickened her steps and took a turn for what she hoped was a shortcut.

She was right and when he turned the corner Bo was right there waiting for him.

He jumped, seeing her appear right in front of him. "Oh shit."

"Well, hello to you too sir." Bo said, linking her arm with his, and keeping him moving. If that greeting wasn't a confirmation of the fact that he was the guy she should be talking to she didn't know what was.

"What do you want?" The man asked uneasily. He was a short, chubby man with great big ears. Bo would have bet money that he'd been the butt of many jokes growing up.

"I think you know."

"How do you figure that?" He asked, guardedly.

"You were listening to me. I saw you."

"Lady, you were all the way across the room, how am I supposed to hear what you said?"

"Either you're a really good lip reader or those tiny ears of yours hear more than they are supposed to. And I'm willing to bet it's the latter." She raised her hand and flicked one of them.

"Hey!" He pulled back, clutching his ear. "That's sensitive."

"That's what I thought." Bo said, grinning. "Now stop stalling and tell me what I want to know."

He looked down, frowning. "Look, I don't want any trouble."

"There won't be any trouble if you answer my questions."

He looked doubtful for a moment, then seeing his lack of choice, nodded.

"Good boy." Bo said, stopping. She maneuvered him so that his back was against the wall. "First of all, what are you?"

He puffed, "I'm an Auriculous."

"And that means?"

"I can hear things," he said sarcastically, as though it was obvious. Then seeing Bo's narrowing eyes, put up his hands and added, "But it's a passive power, I'm harmless."

"Light or dark?"

"Light!" He cried, affronted. "Of course light. I don't mess with the dark, I'm a good guy."

"Nosy guy."

"Right." He nodded. "Nosy, but good."

"At least my fae-dar is getting better." She mumbled to herself.

"Huh?"

"Nothing."

"Oh I get it. Fae-dar. Like radar, but for the Fae." He chuckled nervously, "that's clever."

Bo looked at him blankly, "So you hear things. That must be a rare and special talent."

He nodded enthusiastically.

"You must hear all kinds of things. Know things?"

He nodded, less enthusiastically this time.

"You know what I am?"

He nodded only once.

"And you know that my power is not passive."

"Hmm," He confirmed, swallowing.

"Then tell me what I want to know, good guy…before I lose my patience."

He looked around helplessly. When he could find no way out he sighed, "You're looking for the human doctor."

"Aha," She urged him on.

"But she's not here as a doctor. She's here as a patient. "Well…" He reconsidered, "a donor really."

"What?"

"Lauren, the Ash's doctor, is here to donate."

"What is she going to donate? Blood?"

"No," He shook his head gravely. "Not blood."

"Then what?"

"Life."

She felt her hands going cold at the word. A chill went down her spine, her jaw tensed, and her eyes narrowed. She took a breath to calm her beast and focused on the man.

"Where is she?" She asked, her voice low and dangerous.

"7th floor." He croaked, suddenly very afraid. "That's where all the off-the record procedures take place."

And then she was running again.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N**: Many thanks to **Liberated** for the great Beta work.

**A/N 2**: Thank you so much to all those that took the time to comment. I have replied to the ones that have private messaging turned on in their ffnet account. As for the rest, please know that each and every one of your messages are read and deeply appreciated.

**Lost and Found**

**Part 3/?**

The first thing Bo noticed as she walked out of the elevator was the big sign hanging above a pair of sliding doors. It read "Restricted" in bold red letters.

The second thing was the inquiring eyes of a nurse sitting behind a desk, turned her way. "Restricted area ma'am."

"Maybe for some," Bo said casually, walking up to the desk. "But I'm here to see Dr. Lewis. The Ash sent me." She sounded confidant.

The woman didn't skip a beat, "Your authorization code please."

So this was definitely the right place.

"Of course." Bo smiled, holding out her hand. "Can I have your pen? I'll write it down for you. "

When the woman moved to give her the pen, Bo took a hold of her hand instead. Her power flowing out of her she moved behind the desk bringing their bodies closer. "On second thought," she whispered, feeling the woman start responding to her touch, "Maybe, we could just forget about the code."

"Oh," The woman gasped, her pupils dilating, her cheeks blushing. "I-I'm not supposed to do that."

"I'd be very," she blew on her ear, making the woman squirm "very grateful."

"I don't know. I could get into real big trouble."

"No trouble." One hand traveled to the small of the woman's back, the other to her neck. This position brought them so close together that Bo could feel the woman's heaving chest against her own. "I promise."

"Okay," the woman breathed. She was at the point where Bo could have asked her to strip naked and walk outside and the woman would have done it. Bo could feel her power reigning over her, she could practically taste it. She loved the feeling, but Lauren needed her and despite the temptation of having a little taste of this woman's chi she needed to go.

"Open" She whispered. When the woman started opening her legs, Bo let her hand travel to the woman's outer thigh to stop her, "the door." She clarified, grinning.

The nurse nodded absentmindedly, and passed her key card through a reader. It beeped once and the doors slid open.

"Thank you" She said, pulling back.

Disappointment flashed through the woman's face, "You're leaving?"

Bo smiled sweetly, "For now, but I'll be back. Will you wait here for me?"

"Yes."

"Thank you."

The doors closed behind her. She walked slow enough to take in her surroundings, and fast enough to not be considered out of the ordinary. There were rooms on both sides of the wide corridor. Some doors open, some firmly shut. From what she could make out of the few glimpses she got, there were definitely some occupants here that were other than human. But then, that's what she had been expecting.

She kept her eyes open, looking for any sign that could lead her to Lauren. She was contemplating her options when a man in a white lab coat passed by her. Covering her anxiety she smiled in greeting and kept walking. When the man mirrored her gesture, she sighed a breath of relief.

This wasn't the most clever or safe way to be searching the area, out in open sight, and she knew that just because one man didn't stop to ask any questions didn't mean that others wouldn't.

She needed to get out of the main hallway. Just as she was considering knocking on doors one by one, she spotted one of the Ash's thugs. Following him brought her into another corridor, a smaller one this time. And when he took a turn and walked on she slowed her steps to check that her way was clear. It wasn't. There he was the Ash himself right around the corner. She pulled back, bringing her back to the wall, hoping she hadn't been spotted. When no rushing steps came her way, she chanced looking again.

The Ash was talking with a large woman dressed in colorful cloths. She had feathers coming out of her hair and a tattoo covered most of her face. Her eyes, dark like her skin, shone brightly even in the well-lit space. The necklace she was wearing was heavy around her neck, with big pieces of carved ornaments hanging off it, matching the ring in her ear. Though instead of hanging, the ring was sitting in the woman's lobe, stretching the hole wide enough that a finger could have easily passed through it.

Bo winced, thinking of the pain that must have caused,Though it didn't look like it hurt anymore. The woman seemed far from pain, in fact she was calm and relaxed, surprisingly so. Bo didn't imagine many people faced the Ash with this much ease. This led her to believe the woman to be a fae of significant power.

Bo tried to listen in on what they were saying, but she couldn't make out the words. She was pretty sure that they weren't talking in a language she could understand anyway.

After another moment of conversation the couple turned as the door behind them opened. Bo held her breath as she watched Lauren step out to join them. She was wearing a navy satin robe, a pair of slippers and nothing else. No panty line, no bra. No jewelry, not even the Ash's necklace. Her hair was wet, as though she had just come out of the shower. Her robe clinging to her body in various dark spots confirmed that thought.

Lauren and the shaman woman both bowed to each other in greeting. She asked Lauren something and Lauren answered in the woman's language.

Bo cursed her luck. Of course Lauren would know how to speak whoknowswhatcha.

Then very casually, as though he had every right to do so, the Ash put his hand on Lauren's shoulder. Bo was pretty sure that had she had Dyson's power, she wouldn't have been able to control her transformation at that sight and would already be biting on that hand. As it was, she had to calm herself from going succubus on his ass.

"Get prepared," He said, rubbing his thumb over her shoulder. "We will begin shortly."

Lauren nodded like the good obedient girl that she was. Bo felt ready to snap. Before she could move, the Ash dropped his hand and moved away, taking the shaman with him. Lauren looked after them, then turned and walked back into the room.

Bo waited another moment, making sure that the coast was clear, and then in three quick strides she crossed the hall and let herself into Lauren's room.

There were two beds inside. One was empty. In the other slept a pale woman.

Lauren was sitting next to her in a chair, her back to the door, holding the woman's hand to her lips.

Bo felt a pang of jealousy at the sight.

"I just need a minute." Lauren said without looking up, her voice subdued.

"Lauren."

She jumped at the familiar voice, turning to face Bo, her eyes wide with alarm.

"Bo, you can't be here!"

"Get dressed, we're leaving." Bo ordered, locking the door behind her.

"What? No!"

"Lower your voice, you're going to wake up your friend."

"She won't wake up. She's under." Lauren rushed to Bo's side, "What are you doing here?"

"I came to get you out."

"No Bo, you need to leave. The Ash is going to be here at any moment. He can't see you here." She reached behind Bo and unlocked the door.

"Fine, let's go."

"No, I'm not coming with you."

"Look, I don't know what kind of trouble you're in but this isn't worth it."

"What?"

"I know that we've had our differences lately and I haven't exactly been a...friend. But you could have come to me with this, I would have helped you."

"Bo, you don't know what you're talking about, please leave."

"I know what you're doing here."

Lauren stumbled at that. "You do?"

"Yes. And I'm sorry but I'm not going to just stand by here and watch him milk you for life like some...like some life cow."

Lauren took a hold of Bo's arm and pushed her into the bathroom. "You're unbelievable." She locked the door behind them and crossed her arms.

The move stretched the material of her robe and Bo lost her focus as her eyes traveled to her breasts, suddenly distinctly aware of how little Lauren was wearing.

She cleared her throat, trying to get back on track. "I don't know what you owe the Ash Lauren, and I'm sure it's big enough that you agreed to this but you're not some pawn on his chess set that he can move around as he pleases."

"I think you should stop with the metaphors now."

"Fine. But you know what I mean. You don't have to do this for him Lauren."

"For _him_? You think I'm doing this for _him_?"

"Well, aren't you?"

"God," Lauren shook her head, feeling her worry turn into anger. "You're so arrogant. You think you know everything but you don't. You have no clue… Just throwing yourself into things you have no understanding of. Diving in head first no matter what the consequence, for you or anyone else... Things don't work that way Bo. You have no idea what you're talking about."

"Then tell me."

"Now you want to listen?" She asked incredulously, "Half an hour ago you weren't even talking to me and now you want me to tell you the secrets of my life. No." She shook her head, "That's not going to happen on your timetable. Just because you've decided that now you want to know...No. I might be a _slav_e, but I'm not _your_ slave."

Bo winced at the word, "That's not what I meant."

"Then what did you mean?"

"Lauren, please." Bo begged, holding Lauren's arms, "I didn't come here for this."

The sincerity of Bo's voice pulled at Lauren's heart and just as quickly as her anger had flared, it dissipated. She took a moment to collect herself and when she spoke her voice was soft again.

"Then why did you?"

"To save you."

"Oh?" Lauren raised an eyebrow "What are you supposed to be, a prince on a white horse?"

Bo gave her a crooked smile, "'cess."

Despite herself Lauren chuckled.

"I'm not going anywhere without you." Bo insisted, softly.

"Listen to me Bo, there's been some kind of a misunderstanding." She ran her hand through Bo's hair trying to sooth, both her and herself. "There's no reason to save me. I've been doing this for a while now."

"Every three months for years. I know."

Lauren's eyes widened in surprise momentarily, then she recovered. "Then you know that I'm fine. I'm always okay."

"You're donating life Lauren, whatever that means. There is nothing okay about that."

"No. Well, yes but...when you say it like that you make me sound suicidal."

Bo didn't say anything, just looked at her with a question in her eyes.

"Oh come on," Lauren protested, "I'm not suicidal Bo. I promise."

"Then what's going on?"

"I..." She began, and stopped. She didn't know how to explain it without sounding crazy. She tried again, "Look, first of all, the Ash isn't making me do anything. You have a very warped view of him, and some of that is my fault but you've got to believe me when I say that I am here of my own free will."

Bo doubted that very much but she nodded anyway, urging Lauren to carry on.

"Secondly, I'm not giving away my life...I mean I am but, a very small part of it. And it's mine to give; you have no say on this matter, no matter how much you may wish otherwise. This isn't your fight to fight Bo."

"I know that, but are _you_ fighting it?" Bo asked, frustrated. "'Cause you don't look like you are. You look like you've already given up."

Lauren lowered her eyes. "Believe me I've tried every other alternative. This isn't something I want to do, it's something I have to...I don't have time to explain this to you now, you need to leave Bo."

Bo put a finger under her chin, making her raise her eyes back up again.

"We can figure out a way together,"

Lauren would have given just about anything to have Bo look at her, touch her, speak with her this way just a few weeks ago. And still, it was so tempting to fall under her spell, to take cover under the shelter she was offering.

Bo smiled tightly, "I owe you at least that much."

But Bo hadn't, then. She was doing so now because she feared for Lauren's life. When all was said and done there was more humanity in this succubus then there were in most humans. Which was one of the things Lauren loved best about her. Her intentions were noble. Lauren could see that, but they were also useless. There was no shelter to be had when it never stopped raining. Sooner or later, you had to walk home.

"I appreciate that," Lauren said, with finality in her voice. "I do. And your coming here means a lot. And maybe some other day, some other place we can talk about this, but not now, not here."

"What if I said...?"

The sound of the door creaking open in the room had Lauren clamping her hand against Bo's mouth, muffling her words.

"Lauren?" The Ash's voice came from the room.

In a voice as close to normal as she could manage Lauren answered, "I'll just be a moment."

"When you're done, please tell your friend to come out with you."

Lauren bit her lip as though she was stung. Bo gave her an '_are you serious'_ look under the hand covering her mouth.

Lauren rolled her eyes, and let go of her. "I will do the talking." She whispered, raising a finger in warning. "I'm serious Bo, not one word. And as soon as he dismisses you, you're out of here."

"Dismisses me?" Bo repeated, affronted.

Lauren gave her a cutting look that had Bo backpedaling almost immediately.

"Aye aye captain." Bo saluted, exaggeratedly.

Lauren looked worriedly at her for a moment, and then, running out of options, opened the door.

They trailed after one another into the room. Lauren walking gently enough to almost be considered tiptoeing, and Bo with as much bang to her steps as possible. If she had been a cowboy, the rowels behind her boots would have been spinning. As it was Lauren thought, she looked ready for a dual. She wished not for the first time that Bo had more of a sense for self preservation.

"Hello there," The Ash greeted Bo.

Bo, hooking her thumbs into her jean pockets, nodded. "Hey."

"I've never known you to bring a friend to these rituals Lauren."

"She was just leaving."

"Hmm." The Ash walked over to the windowpane, taking his time. So much time in fact that Bo wondered if she had been "dismissed" and hadn't realized it. With a head gesture she asked Lauren if she should go.

Lauren shook her head quickly and turned towards the Ash.

He leaned against the window and faced them again. "I hadn't realized you were this close."

"She was just bringing me some..."

"We're lovers." Bo declared suddenly, defiantly, not liking the way he was intimidating Lauren with his questions and his monotone voice.

"Bo." Lauren gasped, her eyes going wide at the lie.

"Then again you knew that." Bo added, daring him to contradict her.

The Ash simply chuckled.

"Would you like her to stay for the ritual then, Lauren?"

Bo looked up hopefully, at the same moment Lauren cried, "No!"

Lauren cleared her throat," No," She repeated, more gently this time, "Thank you,"

"I realize that it is quite a difficult ordeal for a loved one to bare witness to." The Ash said, his voice its usual raspy-ness.

Lauren ignored the weight of Bo's eyes on her, and gave a tight-lipped smile to the Ash.

"However," He continued, "I think it would be rude of us to ask her to leave, when she has gone to all this trouble of getting into this room just to be here with you."

Bo watched as the gently disguised command registered across Lauren's face. The initial shock quietly left its place to hurt and hurt to sadness. Lauren met Bo's eyes momentarily and Bo felt herself fill with dread at the sight of the anguish in the other woman's eyes. And then the anguish was gone, replaced with resignation and finally an emotionless, unreadable blankness.

Lauren lowered her eyes before the Ash, "As you wish."

"Good." The Ash smiled.

Bo wanted to rip it right off his face.

"Hey," She said, suddenly wanting to leave more than anything. Lauren obviously didn't want her there, and it was all good when they were negotiating it themselves, but she didn't want to make her do anything against her will, especially not with the aid of the Ash's forcing hand. "I actually have some place I need to be, so if you don't mind I'll be on my way."

The Ash turned cold eyes on her, "I insist."

Bo felt her muscles tensing. She opened her mouth to tell him exactly what he could do with his politely phrased commands, when Lauren spoke up, "It's okay Bo." She said, reassuringly, granting her the access she hadn't been willing to give before.

Bo held her eyes a moment, not knowing what to do. She didn't want to intrude, she felt guilty about ever having suggested she stay, she didn't want to hurt Lauren by staying. When Lauren smiled at her understandingly with the smallest curve of her lips, Bo relaxed abysmally and nodded.

"Let's begin." The Ash announced and the shaman woman walked into the room as if on cue.

The Ash took a seat on the two-person couch and patted the spot next to him. "Come, sit by me." He said, catching Bo's eyes. Bo did as she was told without pause, not wanting to make things any more difficult for Lauren.

"I will be overseeing the ceremony." He instructed, "Once the ritual has started there can be no interruptions until it is finished. No matter what happens, the circle cannot be broken, unless you want irreversible harm to fall onto its occupants. Do you understand?"

"I do." Bo confirmed, watching the shaman mark the floor, creating the said circle around the two beds. She lit a bundle of inscents and started shaking it with every step she took.

"Ready?" The shaman asked Lauren, with a heavy accent.

Lauren nodded. She bent over the unconscious woman on the bed and placed a long kiss on her forehead. Straightening up, she turned towards the Ash and nodded. He mirrored the gesture, looking sincere and somewhat caring for the first time. Then Lauren caught Bo's eyes, "Tell me that you will stay there, no matter what I may say or do once the ritual starts."

"I will stay here."

Lauren nodded, seeing the promise in Bo's eyes. There were also other things there, only Lauren couldn't afford to linger on them. She needed all the resolve she could get to go through with this, and the worry in Bo's eyes was already weakening whatever she might have had to begin with. She wanted to say more but couldn't bring herself to utter one more word so she offered Bo a final smile and turned away. She gave Mabula the go ahead, and pulled on the sash holding her robe together. It gave way easily. She felt Mabula's nails on her shoulders, as she helped her out of her robe.

She heard Bo inhale deeply and ask, "Does she have to be naked?"

The Ash silenced her with a "Sshh."

Lauren lowered herself onto the bed. She might have laughed if she wasn't so bone chillingly afraid of what was to come. So much for all that liquid courage she thought gloomily, not feeling relaxed or mellow at the slightest. On the contrary, she felt wide-awake and alert. Seemed, fear induced adrenalin was an absolute cure for drunkenness.

She closed her eyes, said a silent prayer, and tried to meditate.

Bo watched as the shaman locked the bed restraints around Lauren's wrists and ankles. She hadn't noticed them before, and felt herself getting warier with each passing minute.

She looked away, not wanting to see Lauren this way. She covered her eyes just enough so that all she could see was Lauren's head, resting on her pillow.

"I'm ready." She heard Lauren say, her voice shaky.

The shaman started chanting in some tribal language, and the circle on the floor started glowing with magic.

"It has begun." The Ash announced.

Bo braced herself for whatever was to come. After all the warnings, she was fearing the worst and preparing herself for nothing short of possessions. But nothing of that sort happened. In fact, the more time passed the more relaxed Lauren became. The shaman pushed fingers onto what Bo assumed, was pressure points on Lauren's body in various intervals and chanted which seemed to move Lauren deeper and deeper into a sleep state.

And nothing happened. That is until Lauren started screaming.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N**: Many thanks to both **Rayne** and **Liberated** for the great Beta work.

**A/N 2**: Thank you all for reading. And a great big thanks to those who take the time to comment. I appreciate it immensely. Even if it is just to say "I'm reading this." your feedback motivates me to continue with the story.

**Lost and Found**

**Part 4/?**

Bo jumped back in horror.

Lauren was wailing. Her back arched off the bed, the veins in her throat straining with effort. She alternately pushed and pulled against the restraints on her arms and legs with each spasm of her muscles.

Bo searched the shaman's face in alarm. She was tense as well but there was no sign of obvious panic there to see. This didn't appear to be anything out of the ordinary for her. Bo couldn't bring herself to feel relief, no matter how much she wanted to, at this revelation. This was how it was for Lauren every time…this terrible.

Despite every instinct in her body, Bo sat still. Tense as though she was hanging on the side of a cliff by her fingertips, but still all the same, while Lauren, her skin glistening with sweat, moaned in pain.

Her eyes shut, her head rolling from side to side, Lauren mumbled incoherently. What Bo could make out chilled her to the bone.

"Stop…please…I can't… please."

Bo looked up into the Ash's face. It appeared composed, but she could see that he wasn't unaffected. Perhaps it was the way his eyes were shut, just a little too tightly for it to be completely natural, or the way his chin stood a little too tense… Bo didn't know what made her so sure of her assessment but she was certain that The Ash was as uncomfortable as she; only, perhaps because this wasn't his first time, he was hiding it better.

This strangely made her feel both better and worse at the same time.

As though sensing her appraisal of him, he opened his eyes to stare at her. When he didn't say anything, Bo looked away.

Lauren was crying now, tears running down her cheeks in abundance, and panting from her body's exertion.

Bo felt sick to her stomach and thought that she might actually be sick right there and then if this continued for much longer. As powerful and as near invincible as she thought herself to be, Bo realized that she wasn't strong enough for this. Not even close.

She felt helpless and weak, felt the tears collecting in her own eyes.

She had momentarily accused Lauren of being suicidal. Bo could see now that this was so much worse than that. Suicide would have at least been more merciful. It would have been over and done with in a moment. A single shot, the thrust of a sharp blade…anything would have been kinder than this. For this was nothing but torture…pure, all consuming, slow-motion torture.

For Lauren to endure all this, the person lying in the bed next to her had to be someone of utmost importance to her. Bo, not for the first time, recognized how little she knew of the woman who had touched her and in the next instant betrayed her. Bo had pushed her away and closed the door on the possibility of having any kind of a personal relationship with the doctor. And with each phone call she refused to pick up Bo had, in her mind, been punishing Lauren for her actions. She had wanted to hurt her…to hurt her as badly as she had been hurt.

Looking at her now, Bo could clearly see that Lauren didn't need to be punished and she definitely didn't need to be hurt. She was already taking all the pain a person could take, and more.

Bo had been cruel…and stupid. On top of all that Lauren went through on a regular basis, willingly for someone else's benefit, Bo had purposefully hurt her. Yes it had been an act of self protection on Bo's part. And no, she hadn't known about all this pain, but that didn't change the end result. Bo had judged and dismissed too quickly, too harshly, and robbed both Lauren and herself of a chance at happiness when happiness was sorely lacking in reserve.

For minutes, though it seemed so much longer, for every second seemed to slow and stretch, Lauren writhed in agony. And when it seemed like it couldn't get any worse, she pushed herself up, twisted to the side and with wide bloodshot eyes, looked right into Bo's eyes and begged "Help me!"

Bo, horrified, felt her body begin to rise only to be stopped by the Ash's firm grip on her arm.

"Stop." He commanded. "You can't interfere."

"I can't just sit…"

"It won't be long now."

"But…"

"We can't help her now child. She needs to finish."

Her tears fell. "I can't stand it."

His grip loosened, but he didn't let go. Instead he reassuringly and, Bo realized for the first time, almost like a parent, commanded.

"You have to. For her."

Bo remained stuck between standing up and sitting down for a long moment, looking into his eyes. There was not a single shred of doubt there, or malice…only a silent strength for the woman who couldn't be strong now.

Bo allowed herself to fall back down and shut her eyes. She breathed deeply, trying to find some semblance of calm amongst the unbearable sounds coming from Lauren. The howling. The screaming. The shouting. The weeping. It was the begging that was the worst. Lauren cried out for anyone that could possibly lend a helping hand in easing her suffering…for her mother, for God, for the Ash, for Bo. , It was Bo who had to suffer with the knowledge all the while that no one could…on Lauren's own order.

Certain that she would be haunted by all that she witnessed today for a long time to come, Bo did something she hadn't done since she'd been a teenager. She started praying.

And after a long while, the shaman stopped chanting as her hand traveled to the center of Lauren's chest, hovering above it. Her fingers curled in, turning the appendage claw-like in its appearance. The black of her eyes turned white and Lauren's body started convulsing as a very delicate string of light started flowing out of her. It was as though the shaman was sucking the life force right out of Lauren and collecting it in the palm of her hand, while Lauren's whole being fought against it…and lost.

The rattling of the bed fell silent with the last of Lauren's energy draining out of her. And then with a final gasp Lauren fell back onto the bed, blissfully unconscious.

The first time Lauren opened her eyes, all she saw was white…blinding bright light that hurt. She heard the speeding beep of a heart monitor and shuffling feet beside her.

"She's coming to."

A familiarly soft hand took hers. "Lauren can you hear me?"

"Step back please." She heard the order.

"Lara?" She managed to croak.

The Ash's blurry face appeared in front of her, "She's fine. It worked."

And then, all she saw was black.

The second time Lauren woke up it was to darkness. A small light was coming from a far corner and the room was almost too silent. She tried taking in her surroundings, but lacked the strength to do anything other than roll her head to the side. Even that small bit of movement brought pain along with it and she moaned in protest.

"Lauren?"

Someone was squeezing her hand again. Though she knew the touch couldn't have been gentler, she still winced at the contact. As soon as she did, the hand let go.

"Sorry." Bo's face came into her line of sight; out of focus, but Bo all the same.

Lauren could barely keep her eyes open, let alone maintain any kind of eye contact. Her whole body felt raw and uncomfortable and her mouth was so dry that it hurt to swallow. "Water," She rasped.

Next thing she knew there was a straw pressed against her lips. She sucked a mouthful and almost choked when it proved to be too much too fast.

"Easy," Bo coaxed.

Lauren pulled back from the straw and breathed deeply, trying to ease the pain in her chest. She wanted more but knew she couldn't handle it just yet.

"Enough?"

"Hmm." She tried to focus on Bo's eyes. "Lara?"

"She's okay. The Ash said that it worked…she's gone home, I think."

Lauren's body sagged in relief. Lara was all right. She would be all right now.

"Lauren?"

She was startled awake. "Hmm?"

"You want to go back to sleep?"

"No." She rasped. She wanted to stay awake but could already feel her body starting to pull her under. "How long…"

"How long have you been out? A little more than two days."

Bo sounded tired.

"You…"

"What?"

"You can…go." Her eyes closed, "I'm okay."

"Don't worry about me. Just rest."


	5. Chapter 5

**Title**: Lost and Found

**Author:** Bella Taggart

**Rating**: Pg13 for now

**Fandom/Pairing:** Lost Girl, Bo/Lauren

**Spoilers**: Up to S01E11

**Word Coun**t: About 1200 for this part.

**Disclaime**r: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

**Summary**: When Bo comes across a drunken Lauren in a bar, everything she thought she knew about the doctor comes into question.

**A/N**: Many thanks to **Rayne** for the great Beta work. All the remaining mistakes are mine.

**Lost and Found **

5/?

Bo rested her head against the tiles in the shower and let the water trail down her back. She closed her eyes, willing the spray to wash away the memories of the last few days.

She had left Lauren's hospital room and come straight home for a quick change of clothes. Her back ached from dozing off on various chairs and couches for the last two days. Her emotions were so jumbled and strung out that she felt as though they might snap at any moment. And worst of all, she was hungry. Had been since before all this started with Lauren.

She had gorged herself with the food they served in the cafeteria and when that had closed, she had tried to quench her hunger with the greasy snacks in the gift shop. But food had never really helped. It only made her feel sick. How it was possible to be so full and so empty at the same time she would never understand. Not for the first time, she wished that her hunger could be turned off with a switch. It couldn't. Well, Dyson maybe. But, she didn't want to go there now and she was too tired to analyze why.

She closed her eyes. An image of Lauren's screaming face flashed before her. She snapped them open again. The things she saw were what nightmares were made of and Bo wasn't sure she'd be able to get over them quickly. Maybe if she could see Lauren well again, not in pain, or even awake for more than a few minutes. That would help. Then maybe she could sleep for a few hours in peace.

She shut off the water and stepped out of the shower. The likelihood of that happening was slim, at least for a few more days. That's what the Ash had said when she questioned him. Apparently it took Lauren a while to get back on her feet. It was taking longer and longer each time. The last time it had taken her a week to get back to normal and that time she had woken up only one day after the ritual. "Only?" Bo had asked incredulously. The Ash hadn't said anything more, though his silence was telling in itself.

Bo couldn't help but think that things were going to be worse this time. This time Lauren had opened her eyes after 43 hours. Even now, almost 3 days later, the few minutes that she was awake she wasn't fully lucid. She kept asking the same questions, not remembering that she had woken up before and gotten the answers she needed.

"Lara? How long have I been out? You should go home."

Bo had had the same conversation 3 times now and was getting really worried. But the Ash assured her that it was normal for the mind to be confused after what it had gone through and that she would be okay. Bo doubted that very much. Even if Lauren was back to normal any time soon, she wasn't going to be okay. A person couldn't go through what she went through on a regular basis and be okay.

Bo opened the door and nearly jumped out of her skin when she saw Kenzi standing right in front of her. "Jesus! Don't do that."

"Oh, I'm sorry. Did I startle you cupcake?"

Bo gave her a half-amused look and walked past her into her bedroom.

Kenzi trailed along after her. "So, how was it? Tell me, tell me. Spare no detail."

"What?" Bo asked, walking over to her closet.

Kenzi jumped onto Bo's bed. "Your sexy weekend with Dr. Hotpants. What else?"

"I didn't have a sexy weekend Kenz."

"Yeah, right. This bed hasn't been slept in for days now, which means you were sleeping somewhere else, and didn't you say you were with Lauren?"

"Yes."

"Not that you look like you've gotten much sleep, you naughty girl. So how did she get you to forgive her? I thought you guys were all I hate you - I'm never speaking to you again for as long as I shall live blah blah blah."

Bo pulled on her pants and said in a subdued voice "It's not like that."

"It was her hands, wasn't it? She's got to be great with them; I mean she is a doctor. I knew you wouldn't be able to resist them for long. I know you better than you know yourself Ms. Bo."

"You do, huh?"

"Aha. So tell me, was it good? Was it great? Are you in love again?"

When Bo didn't say anything but stood there, holding her shirt in her hands with a far away look in her face, Kenzi sat up. "Hey," She said, stopping the teasing. "What's going on?"

The gentleness in Kenzi's voice was Bo's undoing. Bo gripped the shirt in her hands and started crying…earnestly crying with heaving breaths and big drops of tears. She slid to the floor and buried her face in her knees.

Kenzi was by her side in seconds. "Hey, hey now." She pulled Bo into her arms "Shhh, shh." She tried soothing the weeping succubus with words like "It's okay. You're okay." but Bo only cried harder and clung onto her as her body shook with her tears.

Later, when Bo was all cried out, and totally worn out, she told Kenzi about what happened. Not all of it, not in detail, because the things she witnessed were Lauren's to share, but enough to make her understand.

Later still, she rested her head on her best friend's lap, and while Kenzi calmingly brushed her fingers along her hair, she found herself losing the battle against sleep and surrendered to her exhaustion.

When she woke up, she was alone in her room and a blanket was draped over her. The way the light hit the walls of her room told her that she had been asleep for hours. She stretched her neck and got up. It was time to get back to Lauren.

She walked into the hospital feeling a little better. A little rest and a little caring went a long way. The crying had released some of the tension that had been building up in her for the last few months, not to mention the last few days. And she felt, if not light, lighter.

The security guard let her through with a nod and a smile, which she returned, and there was no one in the elevator so she was able to get onto the seventh floor without having to make a stop. Even the hunger in her felt dimmed. All things considered, things were looking up.

She walked up to Lauren's door and knocked gently, with the small hope that Lauren might be awake. The silence on the other side of the door was her answer. Oh well, she thought, maybe next time. She turned the handle down slowly, trying not to make too much noise and pushed the door open. She walked inside and was immediately crippled by a fear unlike any she had experienced in this room before.

The bed was empty.


	6. Chapter 6

**Title**: Lost and Found

**Author:** Bella Taggart

**Rating**: Pg13 for now

**Fandom/Pairing:** Lost Girl, Bo/Lauren

**Spoilers**: Up to S01E11

**Word Coun**t: About 1850 for this part.

**Disclaime**r: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.

**Summary**: When Bo comes across a drunken Lauren in a bar, everything she thought she knew about the doctor comes into question.

**A/N**: Many thanks to **Rayne** for the great Beta work. All the remaining mistakes are mine.

Lost and Found 6/?

She was afraid…too afraid. Something was wrong. She could feel it in the exaggeration of each emotion that coursed through her body. She was overreacting. But why? She had her answer almost as soon as she had questioned it. The hunger; it was making her overly sensitive, magnifying her feelings.

The sudden clarity about her own state of mind was enough to calm her erratic heart beat. She sighed, taking a moment to figure out her next step. First she needed to find Lauren and then she would have to feed.

"Hello?"

She spun towards the voice coming from the door. A skinny nurse she didn't know was regarding her carefully. "Can I help you?"

"My friend. She was in this room. Has she been moved to another room?"

"I'm afraid she's gone."

Bo took in a sharp breath.

"They left a few hours ago." The nurse continued.

"Left?" Bo asked, in relief.

"Yeah. They were leaving just as my shift started."

"But, I don't think she was well enough to leave."

The nurse shrugged, "Maybe she got transferred. You should check with the desk."

"Right, thank you."

The desk confirmed that Lauren had been released to the care of her private physician. The thought should have been comforting. If Lauren was well enough to leave the hospital then she had to be feeling better. For some reason it wasn't, and Bo doubted that she would find any comfort until she saw Lauren with her own eyes.

Lauren was barely able to hold on to consciousness. She was aware of this fact and yet she fought it; fought it with all her might, when all she wanted to do was surrender to the darkness.

She'd been home for more than a day and in all that time, except for an assisted visit to the bathroom, she'd been bed ridden. She felt old, weak, oh so weak, and pathetic.

"How's your appetite?" Rachel, her nurse of many years, asked, eyeing the full plate of food by her bedside table.

"Non-existent." Lauren mumbled.

"Thought as much."

Rachel replaced the finished IV on her arm with a new one making Lauren flinch. "Sorry."

Lauren acknowledged the apology with a nod of her head.

Rachel had the gentlest touch out of any nurse Lauren had ever met. She was the one they called for when blood tests were needed for fae children, so light was her touch, and yet Lauren still hurt. She knew it had nothing to do with Rachel and everything to do with the rawness of her own skin. Her whole body felt as though she had sunburn.

This was the worst part of the whole ordeal; the constant pain on her skin, in her skin, in her bones. She didn't have to do anything; it was just there all the time, the hypersensitivity. Even her hair hurt. And she never knew how long it would go on for. Sometimes it was over and done within a few hours, sometimes it took days. It had taken a week the last time.

Lauren shuddered just thinking about it and clicked on her morphine drip in reflex.

"Pain?" Rachel asked, watching her thoughtfully.

Lauren simply gave her a tight smile.

"You want to go to the bathroom?"

"I'm good."

"Okay, I'll be back to check on you in a few hours."

"Yeah."

"Ring if…"

"I know."

"When I come back, we're going to take a walk, at least once up and down the corridor, so you'd better rest up."

"Yes ma'am."

She picked up the plate and gave her a final appraisal. "What are the chances of your eating this?"

Lauren looked at her apologetically, making Rachel sigh in response.

"Fine, but promise that you'll at least eat half of your dinner."

Lauren wanted to assure her, she really did, but she just didn't know if she'd be able to. And even if she was, she didn't know if she could keep it down. As though reading her thoughts Rachel prompted, "At least promise you will try."

Lauren nodded her agreement and received a shake of a head and a small smile in return.

"Hard bargain you drive Lewis."

Lauren crooked her lips into what could be called a smile and winked, the effort to talk seeming bigger with each passing minute.

Rachel smiled tenderly and turned to leave. "Rest now."

Before she was out the door, Lauren was back under.

The ring of the doorbell startled her out of sleep. She lay still for a moment, trying to collect her thoughts. It was late afternoon and she wasn't expecting any visitors. Painfully she rolled onto her side and reached for the door phone mounted on the wall by her bed.

"Who is it?" She croaked, her mouth dry.

"It's Bo."

Lauren's eyes widened. "Bo?" She cleared her throat, "What is it?"

"Can I come in?"

When Lauren didn't reply, Bo prompted again. "Lauren?"

"I'm here."

"Are you okay?"

"Bo, I'm not really up for company."

"Can you just let me in?"

Lauren didn't want Bo to see her this way. And what more, she didn't want to see Bo. Just the idea of her flared an inexplicable anger within her. Bo really had to learn how to respect boundaries, and Lauren was just about to tell her this when Bo's voice came over.

"Please Lauren."

Perhaps it was hearing her name fall out of Bo's lips in that pleading tone or perhaps it was the "please" itself. Whatever it was Lauren found herself buzzing her in, opening her doors to let Bo inside.

Bo walked into the apartment, taking in the modern, clean-cut ambiance of the place, the marble floors, and the high ceilings.

"Lauren?"

"In here."

The voice was distant and small. Bo followed it to the end of the hall, and knocked on the open door when she came upon Lauren's bedroom.

"Come in." Lauren rasped from the bed, trying to reposition herself to a half sitting state and failing.

Bo took a step in; painfully aware of the fact that this was the first time she was in Lauren's bedroom, and cursing the circumstances. "Hey."

"Hello." Lauren replied weakly, without any warmth to her voice.

"How are you feeling?" Bo asked, eyeing the IV running down Lauren's arm.

"Fine." Lauren lied. "What are you doing here?"

"I wanted to see you."

"Well…" Lauren sighed, "Here I am."

"There you are." Bo gave her an awkward smile, one that just became even more uncomfortable when Lauren lowered her eyes to the floor.

"Nice place."

"Thanks."

When Lauren fell silent, Bo realized that she expected her to leave. Only, Bo had no intention of leaving, especially not this way, when the air was so thick between them.

Bo waited in the stretching silence until it was Lauren who broke first, "How did you find out where I live?"

"I have my ways." Bo answered half teasingly. When it fell flat, her voice lost its humor, "I went to the clinic, but you weren't there. Went to Dyson, he didn't know where you lived, so I went to the Ash."

"You saw the Ash?" Lauren asked with an accent of incredulity.

Bo nodded, "He told me that you didn't want to see me."

"I…I don't want to see anyone."

"Yeah, he said that too."

"You didn't believe him?"

"I just thought he was being…difficult, you know."

"He wasn't."

"I see that."

Lauren tried once again to discreetly pull herself up, and gave up on the notion before it became too obvious. "So?" She croaked.

"So?"

"What can I do for you?" Lauren snapped, harder than she had intended. She took a breath, trying to steady herself. She slowly rolled onto her side, trying to get comfortable in her bed. It was no easy task. The duvet lying on her skin was traitorous, switching from comforting to painful without warning as her body temperature spiked one minute and dropped the next.

Bo paused at the hostility in Lauren's demeanor. "I just…I just wanted to see how you were."

Lauren held her gaze for a long moment, and then looked away. When she looked back her eyes were less hostile. Motioning towards the bottle of water behind Bo, she whispered, "Can you pour me a glass, please?"

"Sure." Bo replied, grateful. She crouched by Lauren's bed handing her the glass of water.

When Lauren's eyes widened in panic and her hand started shaking, too weak to hold up the glass, Bo steadied her with her own and brought the glass to her lips, helping her drink. Their eyes met over the glass and held as Lauren took careful sips. Only when Lauren's eyes started pooling with helpless tears and she turned away did Bo look away as well, sparing the proud doctor.

Without a word, she re-filled the glass and put it on Lauren's bedside table.

"Thanks."

"Sure."

With Lauren so close, Bo could see the effects of the ritual even more. Her normally fair skin was even paler. Her cheekbones were even further defined now. She had lost weight again. Her cracked lips were slightly parted, and her eyes…well her eyes were looking right at her.

Bo held them in silence. When they spoke, they spoke at the same time, their words tangling.

Bo's cautious worry, "Are you eating?" and Lauren's quiet observation "You've fed."

When they registered each other's words, the irony wasn't lost on either of them. Bo chuckled, and Lauren's lips curved up as well.

Bo instantly felt better. "I grabbed a snack this morning," She supplied cautiously. When Lauren's eyebrows rose up at the phrasing, she rolled her eyes. "You know what I mean. Just a little to hold me over, not a full charge up…just enough." She didn't know why she felt the need to make the distinction, but she did.

"That's good." Lauren said, non-judgmentally. "You should feed regularly Bo. It could get dangerous for you if you don't."

Bo felt something soften inside her. "And you?" She asked, tentatively brushing Lauren's hair out of her eyes. "Are you eating?"

Lauren froze under the soft touch, unable to speak until Bo pulled back. When she did, Lauren took a moment to focus. "Um…I'm trying."

"Trying is good."

Lauren simply shrugged. They remained gazing at each other long enough that Lauren's eyes started closing again. Not wanting to bother her, Bo spoke gently. "You should rest."

Lauren's eyes snapped open, "I'm awake."

Bo tilted her head to the side and gave her a half amused smile. "Rest." She encouraged, backing away.

Lauren took in Bo's retreating form and sighed in disappointment, "Yeah." She said coolly as Bo reached the door. "That's probably for the best."

"Do you need anything?"

"Nothing" Lauren whispered, letting her eyes drop.

Bo waited until Lauren looked back up again, gave her a soft smile and walked out, leaving Lauren to slumber once again.


End file.
